She Comes To Visit

This time of the year is when I usually meet a dear friend; she visits me to accompany the abundance of space between four blank walls. Solitude, how are you so consistent? How do you overcome and override time and time again?

Most misconstrue your presence as the beginning of turmoil or something sad or pitiful, but to me, you have been good. To me, you are a guide or a pedagog who has shoved me into growth and besides, I like you. It makes me think that no matter how good a swimmer I am, the tide is something I continually fail to fathom.

Perhaps you condemned me on our first meeting; perhaps you didn’t. But we are much past that now; there is little time for dilly dallying and dicking around. With Solitude, I see clearer even if a film of tears clouds my vision. To make peace with an enemy, is to gain a friend, I assume, but despite the time we spend together and learn from each other, you are too unpredictable to trust. As much as I dwell in you in order to comprehend your ways, you evade me. I expect nothing different; you are mine till the very end. The thought of losing you leaves a bitter taste in my mouth like the first bite of uncooked karela; I can munch all I want but a sweetness will never avail.

That is what makes it okay for my dear friend to come and make a place in my being from time to time. It’s quite alright for I know, that her visits to me are but visits and maybe, she sees me as a mirrored visitor too. Maybe I’m okay with her skulking around in nooks and crannies of my shoebox-sized dorm room because I’m skulking around in hers simultaneously. If I get closer I’ll love her more, and so the only appropriate approach during this lonely time of year, is gratitude. So thank you.

 

© 2017 Pia Krishnankutty & springtidevoice. wordpress.com All Rights Reserved

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OQ #43

Could non-violence stem from a violent mentality? Doesn’t the effort of suppressing instinctive aggressions or striking them down seem like a protest against a physical body, be it your own?

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OQ #42

Does your moral compass point toward good tendencies or good intentions?

© 2016 Pia Krishnankutty & springtidevoice. wordpress.com All Rights Reserved

OQ #41

Being a reader makes you less of an open book.

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OQ #40

Less is more, more or less.

© 2016 Pia Krishnankutty & springtidevoice. wordpress.com All Rights Reserved

Sing Along

So I walk into a morbidly cheerful classroom to join my first club on college campus. I say morbid, because smiling faces arouse my skepticism. It proved to be all the more morbid when I found my initial skepticism and borderline contempt slowly crumble as everyone began to chat and hum. There were good vibes, great voices, harmonious harmonies and a general contentment that filled the room; all of which surprisingly failed to provoke any habitual eye rolling of mine. Perhaps, I’m more of a happy person than I care to admit.

Glowing screens lit up faces with the lyrics of Stand By Me, while too-doo-doos echoed from corners of the room. Nobody sought to stand out; everyone blended their voices together, listening and hearing one another. I guess that was my biggest take away.

College is too often deemed a platform to stand out, leave your mark or defy the odds which, for the majority of the part, it certainly is. But it’s also about compromise be it keeping tempo with the Bass or negotiating with your roommate to hotbox (hypothetical; please simmer down) the room from 18:00 to 21:00 hours only and so on. It’s cooperating with your professor for giving you a dry-as-stale-bread prompt for your position paper.

University is this fantastically exciting step before the big, bad world. It’s so tempting to constantly establish who you are but not so much accepting and embracing who other people are. To overcome a public speaking fear, to make your bed every morning, to deal with situations you don’t want to be in or with people you don’t necessarily relate to, is to extend an education.

It is also occasionally making bad decisions such as Maggi.

And this little lesson continues to peep out even within the place I first grasped it. Ironically, I’m dreading my Acapella meeting tonight because I’m not particularly fond of the assigned song choice. But I made a commitment and I want to see those beeming yellow smiles again. So am I going to be petty and bunk? Tomorrow perhaps, but maybe not today.

P.S: possible symptom of college paranoia i.e. making everything a metaphor to soften the blow of what a failure you really are. 

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